Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Top 25 Movies of the Aughties: Also Rans

Wassup Hepcats!
OK, now we've all caught our breath from the thrilling countdown of the Top 100 songs of the last decade - and I'm not gonna lie, that drained my chi like a muthafucka - we're gonna switch gears a bit and count down the top 25 movies of that same last decade. Note I wrote "movies" and not "films", because if you call them films you're a pretentious assdouche who probably keeps issues of Cahiers du Cinema on your coffee table even though you don't read them. (If you do read them, then you're a triple assdouche who uses phrases like "pure cinema". Go away. But click on an ad or two first.)
No, just kidding, "film" is okay. I just like to make fun of film school grads, cuz I didn't get accepted.


So! First.
The ones that didn't make it. These were movies I genuinely liked, and before I started ranking this thing I thought they were possibles for the final 25, but they didn't make the short list. In no order of any particulance:

Spider-Man 2
Audition
Jackass
The Incredibles
Pan's Labyrinth
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang


The Squid and the Whale
The Savages
Gone Baby Gone
Y Tu Mama Tambien
Observe and Report
Brokeback Mountain
Moulin Rouge! (note: movies with ! in the title automatically excluded from shortlist)
Superbad! (yes, even if it's ironic)
The Prestige
American Psycho
Zodiac 
Talk to Her
Grizzly Man
Capturing the Friedmans
My Kid Could Paint That
Lost in Translation
Gladiator
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army
Frost/Nixon
Slumdog Millionaire
Mystic River
House of Sand and Fog
Finding Nemo
Requiem for a Dream
Traffic
Sin City
Sexy Beast


Little Miss Sunshine
A Beautiful Mind
X-Men 2
The Departed
Hotel Rwanda
The Bourne Ultimatum
In the Bedroom
Funny People
King Kong
Knocked Up
Ocean's 11
Erin Brockovich
Catch Me if You Can
Big Fish
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Charlie Wilson's War
Pineapple Express
Tropic Thunder
Spirited Away
O Brother Where Art Thou?
Seabiscuit
You Can Count on Me
About Schmidt
Michael Clayton
About a Boy
In America
Bridget Jones's Diary
A Mighty Wind


Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist
Vanilla Sky
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
King of Kong
Capote
Little Children
In Good Company


So, suck it, those movies.
And here are the ones that made the shortlist, but were cut after careful deliberation.
THE SEMI-FINALISTS
Cast Away - A perfect movie for commercial breaks. You've seen it a few times, and it's always on TBS or TNT, so when you're watching a game or something, you can just switch over for a few minutes. And sometimes it just gets stuck on that channel.

High Fidelity - The movie that begat Jack Black, for better or worse. Only movie to give me inside jokes with 2 different people: "Belle and Sebastian...." with Crow, and "A Caaahhh-sby sweat-ah!" with Mrs. Hepster.


Charlie's Angels - Damn right. I'm pissed this didn't make the Top 25. I was looking forward to the arguments. This here is pure cinema.



Children of Men - This was actually a last minute removal from the Top 25, because it's been on cable all month, and I've only put it on a couple of times. Not great on rewatchability, but amazing the first time I saw it.

District 9 - I have to see it again. Maybe it belongs up there.

Punch Drunk Love - Another tough cut. This one ranks high on rewatchability for me.


Wall-E - I just couldn't have two animated movies in the Top 25. This got cut because it didn't give up the sniffles.

City of God - I just couldn't remember enough about it to put it in the Top 25. All I remember is sitting on my bed, watching the DVD and continually exclaiming, "This movie is awesome!" Intoxicants may have been involved.

So - next is 25-11, and then 10-1 (aka the Top Ten). Hoping to have both of them up this weekend, but maybe only one. So you know what you'll be getting, we're gonna break this down by:
  • First impression
  • Best line
  • "Holy Shit!" moments
  • Pretty girls
  • Best scene
  • Rewatchability
See you soon, my comrades in cinema.

No comments:

Post a Comment