Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Top 25 Movies of the Aughties: 25 - 21

Wassup Hepcats!Thanks for joining us again for a little bit of quantification of enjoyment. What we're doing here is the Top 25 movies of the last decade, which, we've all agreed, is the Aughties.
Here are the films that didn't quite make it.
I think number twenty-five would be a nice one with which to begin.

25. Sideways (2004).

First Impression: I first saw this one on video, but this was a movie that almost guaranteed me liking it. Based on a small novel, starring Paul Giamatti, directed by Alexander Payne. Indeed, I liked it so much, I've never even thought of reading the book it was based on. That's usually a bad sign, but here, it is high praise.

Best Line: (The "fucking Merlot" one is most famous, but I liked this exchange)
Maya: So is it kind of about death and mortality, or...?
Miles Raymond: Mrnmm, yeah... but not really. It shifts around a lot. Like you also start to see everything from the point of view of the father. And some other stuff happens, some parallel narrative, and then it evolves - or devolves - into a kind of a Robbe-Grillet mystery - with no real resolution.

"Holy Shit!" Moment: The waitress having sex with her husband.

Pretty Girls: Virginia Madsen did age nicely (see what I did there?). But stop it all you critics trying to tell us Sandra Oh is attractive. She just isn't. Charming, maybe, but not at all hot. This also applies to Vera Farmiga. I don't know why movie critics keep trying to sell these women to us, but I'm going to see "Up In the Air" anyway. And Vera Farmiga will still be kinda ugly.

Best Scene: Miles getting drunk at the wine tasting, and eventually doing the drunk dial. We all want to reach out into the screen and physically stop him. Cringeworthyness on a David Brent scale.

Rewatchability: 8. You can tell the actors are all having fun, and goddamn I could watch Paul Giamatti read the phone book. Which would be better than "John Adams".

24. Best in Show (2000)

First Impression: Not as funny as "Waiting for Guffman". Second impression: Nothing is as funny as "Waiting for Guffman". This is really fucking close, though.

Best Line: Buck Laughlin: Look at Scott! He is prancing along with the dog! Man, I tell you something, if you live in my neighborhood and you're dressed like that, you'd better be a hotel doorman.

"Holy Shit!' Moment: Not really applicable here, though I guess the result of the show could count.

Pretty Girls: Parker Posey is some kinda alright, always. And Catherine O'Hara would be a cougar if that weren't such a dumbass doucheface term.

Best Scene: The Swans torture a pet shop clerk looking for a dog toy.
Meg Swan: I didn't ask for your opinion. I asked for a toy that you don't have!

Rewatchability: 10. As with any Christopher Guest movie. Every single sentence in his movies is funny, after you watch them enough.

23. American Splendor (2003).

First Impression: Somehow, this movie was not overrated. And I've never been more sure of a Best Actor statuette. Or more wrong.

Best LineHarvey Pekar: You might as well know right off the bat, I had a vasectomy.

"Holy Shit!" Moment: This isn't that kind of movie. 

Pretty Girls: Hope Davis is an attractive woman, but here? Um, no.

Best Scene: Harvey's friend talking him into seeing "Revenge of the Nerds".

Harvey Pekar: What movie could be worth driving 260 miles round trip for?
Toby Radloff: It's a new film called "Revenge of the Nerds". It's about a group of nerd college students who are being picked on all the time by the jocks. So they decide to take revenge.
Harvey Pekar: So what you're saying is, you identify with those nerds.
Toby Radloff: Yes. I consider myself a nerd. And this movie has uplifted me. There's this one scene, where a nerd grabs the microphone during a pep rally and announces that he is a nerd and that he is proud of it and stands up for the rights of other nerds.
Harvey Pekar: Right on.
Toby Radloff: Then he asks all the kids at the pep rally who think they are nerds to come forward, so nearly everybody in the place does. That's the way the movie ends.
Harvey Pekar: Uhhmmm, so the nerds won, huh?
Toby Radloff: Yes.
Harvey Pekar: All right. Wow, well you know, you got this movie and I'm getting hitched. We both had a good month, huh?
Toby Radloff: Right.

 Rewatchability: 8. I think. Still haven't seen this on TV since it came out. Boo, TV!

22. A History Of Violence (2005)

First Impression: This was marketed as an arthouse movie. Which, in a way, I guess it was. Was the title telling us that this was a metaphor for man's inhumanity to man,or that this man (Viggo Mortensen) had a history of violence? It doesn't matter. Because this isn't an arthouse movie. This is a badass movie. And Viggo is a badass. 

Best Line:

Jack Stall: What am I supposed to call you now? Tom? Joey?
Tom Stall: You're supposed to call me Dad. That's what I am, your Dad.
"Holy Shit!" Moment: The sex/rape scene on the staircase.

Pretty Girl: Maria Bello. This movie was relased in the apex of her "Maria Bello gets all kind of naked" phase.

Best Scene: Every scene with William Hurt is fantastic, but the best scene is when Viggo has to drop his "nice guy" facade, and totally fucking breaks that guy's arm. And kills motherfuckers. In front of his son. And now we have a badass movie.

Rewatchability: 8. This isn't a movie that you can pick up halfway through, but if you're lucky enough to catch it from the get-go, you're good.

21. The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)

First Impression: You mean, besides the poster? In case you forgot.


Best Line:  
Andy Stitzer: [Watching Beth masturbate in the tub] Wow. This is graphic.

"Holy Shit!" Moment: Andy's morning wood.

Pretty Girls: Goodness, a cornucopia of pretty girls. Elizabeth Banks, Leslie Mann, Kat Dennings, and AH favorite Carla Gallo.

Best Scene: "Kelly Clarkson!"

Rewatchability: 10. As with most good comedies, eventually every line of dialogue become quotable.

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