I enjoy the blogs ( reminder: short for "e-blogs"). I read quite a few, and have respect for most of the writers. But there is one little cutesy, jokey meme that has been driving me crazy for the last couple of years, and unfortunately, it shows no signs of abating.
I speak of course, about "the internets".
Or, more assiduously, "the interwebs".
Stop it. Just stop it. You aren't 5 years old, you aren't an octogenerian congressman. No one is sitting at their computer, laughing, "Ha, he just juxtaposed a 10,000 word post on Noam Chomsky with the idea he doesn't know what the internet is called! How cute!"
And while we're at it:
- No more pretending to an emcee at a comedy club. Someone has just made a joke, to hearty approval from your group. How to piggyback on your friend's humorous success? How about something like, "He'll be here all week!" Or, "Don't forget to tip your waitress!" Or "Thanks! Try the veal!" Or not. BECAUSE IT HASN'T BEEN FUNNY THE LAST TEN MILLION TIMES ANYONE'S DONE IT, AND COMEDY CLUBS DON'T EVEN FUCKING SERVE VEAL.
- His name is M. Night Shyamalan. I know, I don't like him either. But there is NO excuse to call him "M Night Sham-a-lama-ding-dong". Even morning zoo DJ's stopped doing that after "The Village" came out. Extra points lost for Prefacing it with, "Or, as I call him..."
- Any joke that got played out a long time ago. Saying "NOT!" after something (the well-loved "Not" joke from "Borat") is not acceptable just because it's been 17 years since "Wayne's World" and no one you know is doing it anymore. If you still use "That's what she said", you aren't referencing Michael Scott, you ARE Michael Scott.
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