Showing posts with label ha-ha's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ha-ha's. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Comedy is Funny!

Wassup Hepcats!
So we're big fans of the comedy here at AH. We do enjoy the laffs.
Sunday night I had the pleasure of viewing Aziz Ansari's new comedy/laffs special, "Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening". I watched the Secret Stash version that aired later on Comedy Central, so as not to miss any dick jokes that were integral to the plot.
I must tell you, hepcats, I haven't laughed that hard in quite a while. I as afraid I was gonna wake up Mrs. Hepster and the twinnies. Here's a clip (hint: click on the thing that says "video"):



It got me to thinking about other comedy specials I've enjoyed in recent years.
What follows is in no way definitive, just some talented individuals who brought the ha-ha's with a great degree of regularity.

In the order I thought of them:

MITCH HEDBERG




First caught him on a Comedy Central half hour special on at 10 in the morning during The Bad Time (i.e. 2003-4). I loved it, and it takes a lot to make me laugh at 10 in the morning. I know we tend to lionize the dead in this day and age, but this guy really was special. Comparisons to Steven Wright aren't too far off, but Hedberg was little more out there.

A FAVORITE JOKE/BIT: Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier'n helpin' 'em move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.


MIKE BIRBIGLIA

Jokes.com
Mike Birbiglia - Celebrity Golf Tournament
comedians.comedycentral.com

Joke of the Day
Stand-Up Comedy
Free Online Games

Birbiglia is one of those comedians who "tells stories" instead of "making jokes". In spite of this, he's still really fucking funny. He's on "This American Life" a lot, which is good, because he makes up for the fact that they forgot that David Sedaris hasn't been funny in 10 years.

A FAVORITE JOKE/BIT: "I know, I'm in the future also" is hard to top. I've been trying to rip that off in regular conversation for years. I also love this: When I go to bed at night, it's like a different human being that enters my body for the night shift. I call my guy Sleepy Carl -- that's my guy. And he's a terrible employee, but he's a great dude. He's always slobbering on my pillow and muttering about Vietnam, but then he'll try to talk me out of waking up with his great plans. He'll be like, 'Why would you go out there when you could stay here and ride on a ferris wheel made of pizza?'












He's like a big movie star and stuff now, but for us comedy nerds Patton will always be the guy who turned us on to "Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People".

A FAVORITE JOKE/BIT:  I'm not gonna print the whole thing here, it doesn't translate well to print. But it involves the phrase "I"m gonna fill your hoo-hah with goof juice", and is the best commentary on corporate television hypocrisy ever.
Oh, fine, here:



That's all for now, Hepcats, we'll have to do this again.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Golden Age of Video

OK, Hepcats, fair warning: if you watch this video, you're going to have "WE CAME, WE SAW WE KICKED ITS ASS!" in your head until New Year's.



Here are the complete lyrics, along with the movie/TV show it came from.

BBC Logos:
1, 2, 1 2 3 4.

Freaks:
We accept her, one of us. We accept her, one of us.
Gooble gobble, gooble gobble.
We accept her, we accept her.
We accept her, one of us. We accept her, one of us.
Gooble gobble, gooble gobble.
We accept her, we accept her.

Ghostbusters:
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

School of Rock:
I was testing you – and you passed.

The Simpsons:
Dental plan! Lisa needs braces.

South Park:
Be required to fart on a regular basis.

The Godfather:
I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.

Robocop:
Channel 13, eyewitness news!
Robocop, who is he?
Dead or alive, you’re coming with me.

Sesame Street:
In a hurry to be fed, beady eyes and big blue head.


Back to the Future:
I’m telling the truth Doc, you gotta believe me.

The Simpsons:
Why does everything I whip leave me?

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory:
My beautiful chocolate! Candy is dandy.


Silence of the Lambs:
Fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Seinfield:
You can count on Slippery Pete.

Back to the Future 2:
Suicide will be nice and neat!


A Night at the Museum:
I didn’t build the Panama Canal.

2001: A Space Odyssey:
Open the pod bay doors please, HAL.

Star Wars:
These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
These aren’t the droids we’re looking for.

The Prisoner:
I am not a number. I am a free man!

Citizen Kane:
Rosebud.

Seinfeld:
To the Idiotmobile!

Knight Rider:
Right away Michael.

The Prisoner:
I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered!

Ghostbusters:
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

On the Waterfront:
You don’t understand, I could’a had class.


Sesame Street:
Round and tasty on a bun.

Rainbow:
Ooh Zippy, look what you’ve done.


Pirates of the Caribbean:
Finally, cast off those lines!

Airplane:
No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.

The Shining:
Red Rum!
What’s the matter honey?

The Dukes of Hazzard:
Just robbed Boss Hogg all of his money!

Ghostbusters:
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

Top Gun:
Writing checks your body can’t cash.

The Simpsons:
I was elected to lead, not read.

Top Gun:
I feel the need, the need for speed!

Mystery Science Theater 3000:
Watch out for snakes!

The Man Who Knew Too Little:
A good man’s loafer.

Mystery Science Theater 3000:
HQ, my hat looks like a muffin, over.


2010: The Year We Make Contact:
My God, it’s full of stars.

The Car:
There was no driver in the car.

Knight Rider:
Right away Michael.

The Dukes of Hazzard:
Well you see I’m in hot pursuit!

30 Rock:
There are only two things I love in this world, everybody and television.

The Simpsons:
The Simpsons!

Family Guy:
Ugh, you must be ’shrooming.

The Moomins:
Wait for me Moomin!

Shaun Micallef:
Cross live to meet the host of that show, Meat Boy.

30 Rock:
I want to go to there.

Ghostbusters:
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

Starsky and Hutch:
An oil tycoon, like a – moustache.

The Naked Gun:
Nice beaver!
I just had it stuffed.

Blow:
I don’t give a shit, close enough.

The Fast Show:
Where’s me washboard?
I’ll get me coat.

Jaws:
You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

Anchorman:
What’d she say?
I think she bought it,

30 Rock:
Suck it monkeys, I’m going corporate!

Cars:
C’mon let’s take a drive.
A drive?

Short Circuit:
Number 5 is alive!

It Couldn’t Happen Here:
It’s only a laugh, no harm done,

Sesame Street:
Pickles, french fries, yum yum yum.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off:
Bueller, Bueller, Bueller.

Good Morning, Vietnam:
It’s 2 degrees cooler.

Blade Runner:
The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long.

This is Spinal Tap:
Six words in the whole song.

[Freaks chorus]

The Prisoner:
You are number 6.


Short Circuit:
Five.

?:
Four, three, two.


The Prisoner:
I am not a number, I am a free man!

Ghostbusters:
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

The Big Lebowski:
Give me my 20,000 in cash.

Ghostbusters:
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

Back to the Future 3:
I think you woke up the dead with that blast!

Ghostbusters:
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!


Pulp Fiction:
I think fast, I talk fast.

Ghostbusters:
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

Family Guy:
Lois, this is not my Batman glass.

Ghostbusters:
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

[Freaks chorus]

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Gran Up Torino

Mash ups are usually awful, but this one made me laugh.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

We're Transferring the Twinnies

Wassup Hepcats.
While the twinnies have adjusted well to pre-school at the co-op, I think this place may offer more opportunity for enrichment. "Molester-free"?, you say? I like the sound of that!