So I've mentioned earlier that one of the highlights of the last year was being approved as a commenter on Deadspin. I know I know, sad, right. But if you enjoy sports + comedy + obscure allusions, and if you are here I bet you like two of the three, the Deadspin comments section should be right up your alley.
I don't have a star yet, so I guess I'm the Bobby Moynihan to the Will Fortes there. Which is kind of depressing to think of that way.
Anyway, here are some choice comment threads today from a story that featured an email from a dude who was pissed about one author's liberal slant, and another fully in favor of a whites only basketball league.
The 1st email:
I get it, you hate conservatives. I get it, you think we are all greedy, inbred, bible thumping troglodytes who want to kill off gays, whales and everyone who is darker then Bronson Pinochette (we are all secret fans of his wholesomely delightful Cousin Balky character). Thanks for sharing that opinion. It is a very novel and courageous stance to take in your field of employment. But please, every now and then, just shut the fuck up and tell me a biting and humorous story about Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods banging every $10K per hour hooker in Vegas without referencing George W. Bush or Sarah Palin.
The comments:
I'd certainly remember making a doozy of a Freudian slip like "Bronson Pinochette."
It was a simple mistake, Craggs. I think he was referring to the time you referenced Who's the Boss? star, Suhartony Danza.
It was a simple mistake, Craggs. I think he was referring to the time you referenced Who's the Boss? star, Suhartony Danza.
MarkKelsosMigraine 01/22/10 @MattinglysSideburns: Holy Crap. Young commenters, pay attention -- This is how you do it.
@IamScarletSimmons: Suharto was an Indonesian president who initiated and oversaw a genocide of his own people.
@IamScarletSimmons: He was an actor who oversaw the genocide of Danny Pintauro's budding career. Reply
@MarkKelsosMigraine: Is it possible to retire from the show if you're just a bat boy? Reply
The 2nd email:
I am with you 1 hundred per cent.............then maybe they can have 99 per cent black's.............sitting in the stand's watching them play...................NOT...............98 per cent black's are playing now............with 99 per cent...........stupid white people paying they're outrageous salary's........while they bitch and moan..........and all they want is a white wife............form the league..........I'll assure you, you'll draw a crowd...........I guarantee you I will be there.....................good luck...............steve in florida
The comments:
MarkKelsosMigraine 01/22/10
..while they bitch and moan..........and all they want is a white wife............form the league..........I'll assure you, you'll draw a crowd
This was written by the bastard son of Samuel Beckett and Phyllis Schlafly.
This was written by the bastard son of Samuel Beckett and Phyllis Schlafly.
@MarkKelsosMigraine: You should have seen the version he wrote like James Joyce:
"I am with you 1 hundred per cent yes then maybe they can have 99 per cent black's yes and how sitting in the stand's watching them play yes and NOT then he asked me would 98 per cent black's are playing now yes and stupid white people paying they're outrageous salary's yes and while they bitch and moan yes I said yes and all they want is a white wife. Yes." Reply
"I am with you 1 hundred per cent yes then maybe they can have 99 per cent black's yes and how sitting in the stand's watching them play yes and NOT then he asked me would 98 per cent black's are playing now yes and stupid white people paying they're outrageous salary's yes and while they bitch and moan yes I said yes and all they want is a white wife. Yes." Reply
@Weed Against Speed: I liked the Raymond Carver version as well.
"I am with you 1 hundred per cent. I smoked. Maybe 99 per cent black's in the stands, drinking coffee. Stupid white people. They smoked. All they want is a white wife. The car drove off."
"I am with you 1 hundred per cent. I smoked. Maybe 99 per cent black's in the stands, drinking coffee. Stupid white people. They smoked. All they want is a white wife. The car drove off."
@GuidedByVodka: The Carver was a rip-off of Hemingway. And it was 75% Gordon Lish, anyway. Looking through my library, I come upon the Hemingway original:
""I am with you 1 hundred per cent. I smoked. Maybe 99 per cent black's in the stands, drinking coffee. Stupid white people. They smoked. All they want is a white wife. The car drove off. In the rain."
""I am with you 1 hundred per cent. I smoked. Maybe 99 per cent black's in the stands, drinking coffee. Stupid white people. They smoked. All they want is a white wife. The car drove off. In the rain."
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